Math Guys say the darndest things!

I recently went through my posts on Facebook, and found several that were perhaps a bit silly. Decided for yourself...

I thought I was going to have a great dream last night, but I slept through it.

I am alleged in my own time.

I am developing a search engine for Jewish food called Koogle.

Koogle the search engine

 Before buying an iPad, I would recommend adding another bathroom.

There was a bug in the bathroom this morning with a hundred legs: a centi peed in the toilet.

I decided not to take the job in the shipping department of the basket company. I don't think I could deal with all the basket cases.

Is it washful thinking for me to plan to get laundry done today?

I spent all last night dreaming about insomnia. :(

Beauty products don't work on my wife. Can't improve on perfection.

I'm looking for an Android app where I can download a Starbucks to drink in bed.

I am soooooooooo looking forward to National No Underwear day on Saturday! I have been looking through my closet for just the right pair to not wear. So hard to decide.

Today's invention - a device that holds your e-book to your chest so that you can read while jogging. I will call it the kindle-ah-bra.

I am hoping to find a way to slip the word "excrementitiously" into casual conversation.

I think they should replace the "Forward" button in email programs with a button that says "I'm not going to bother to do any fact checking or research or even critical thinking, but I fully support the hatred expressed in this email".

My condition has been upgraded to "feeling like poop". I am soooo much better today.

Ignorance is bliss, but awareness of ignorance is not.

I just realized that those fake dog turds are really dog sham poo!

I don't want to sound like a skeptic, but I don't think Buzz ever actually got to infinity, let alone beyond it.

I'd give my manhood for another X chromosome.

A joke walks into the bar and the bartender says, "I don't get it?"